Shattered Dreams Part 5
by Terry Orlando
Summary: Tragedy puts a strain on Lee and Amanda's relationship.


SHATTERED DREAMS

PART 5

Dr. Lowenstein grimaced as he saw Joe pacing the floor. He knew the boy's father would not take this lightly. He tried to avoid a confrontation by just poking his head in the room. Joe saw the doctor and moved toward him.

"Mr. Stetson?" The doctor called, avoiding eye contact with Joe.

Joe stopped dead in his tracks and all eyes were on Lee as he slowly made his way to the doctor.

"What's going on?!" Joe demanded. "Where's Amanda!?"

Dr. Lowenstein finally looked at Joe. "She's still in the office." To Lee, "Will you come with me? I need to speak with you."

"Why him!?" Joe shouted.

"Mr. King, please..."

"No! I want to know what the hell is going on!"

Philip was shocked by his father's behavior. He had never seen him so angry. Dottie stood behind her grandson, her hands protectively clasped to his shoulders. Even Billy and Francine moved in closer, ready to intercede.

"Joe, take it easy," Lee said calmly, touching his arm.

Joe angrily knocked Lee's arm away and the veteran agent fought the instinct to strike back.

"Jamie is my son, not his! This has got nothing to do with him! Now, get out of my way, I want to talk to my wife!"

"Ex-wife!" Lee spat out, realizing too late how defensive he sounded.

Joe gave him a menacing look, but Lee stared him down. Dottie feared the argument would turn physical and did not want Philip to witness such a thing.

"That's enough!" She stepped in between them.

"Look, Mr. King, I need to talk to Mr. Stetson. It has nothing to do with you or Jamie."

"But it involves my wi...Amanda?

"Yes"

Joe looked from the doctor to Lee, then shook his head. He backed away, allowing Lee to follow the doctor to the office. After they left, Joe turned to Dottie.

"What's going on with them Dottie?"

"Joe..."

"No, I want to know. I mean, I knew they were dating, but he's been hanging around here like he's part of the family...and now this. Just how serious are they?"

Dottie grit her teeth and gave a sideways glance to Billy and Francine. 'I guess the tables are turned,' she thought as Joe inadvertently revealed the secret Lee and Amanda worked so hard to keep. Other than Francine raising an eyebrow and Billy nervously clearing his throat, there was not much of a reaction.

"Not now, Joe." Dottie's exhaustion showed in her voice.

"That's it, isn't it? He's in love with Amanda. That's why he got so crazy when I called her my 'wife'.

"Who's acting jealous now, huh? Just let it go, Joe." She looked over at Philip, who was taking it all in.

"Yeah, you're right." Joe walked over to Philip. "I'm sorry about all this, son. I guess I'm just tired and stressed out."

"It's all right, Dad."

Meanwhile, in the office, Dr. Lowenstein repeated to Lee what he told Amanda. For a long time Lee just sat, stunned. Then, he looked at Amanda, whose glistening eyes threatened to spill forth a fresh flood of tears. He tried to speak, but no words would form in his mouth. The doctor, feeling a bit uncomfortable, excused himself and left the office.

Lee turned to Amanda again. "It's what has to be done," his voice quivered. "It's not like we have to make a decision. Jamie's life depends on it."

"I know," her reply was barely audible.

Lee knelt in front of her and took her hands in his. He was desperately fighting back his own tears. Amanda looked deep into his eyes, a single tear flowing down her cheek.

"I...I don't know wh...what to say. I d...don't know what to think, or feel," she stammered.

She knew she would save her son's life, but that didn't lessen the pain of losing her baby - Lee's baby. She remembered how excited he had been about becoming a father. He had told her that he never dared dream of the possibility before because he didn't think that, given his past non-committal lifestyle, he would ever experience fatherhood. He had repeatedly thanked her for giving him something he thought was beyond his grasp. And now it was being taken away from him.

"Amanda..." Lee croaked.

"Oh, God, Lee...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." she sobbed.

"No, Honey don't...don't..." he put his arms around her.

As Amanda held him close, she could feel his body trembling as he lost the battle with his emotions and began to cry. In all the years she had known him, this was the first time she had ever seen him cry and it tore at her heart. She held him tightly as he released years of pent up emotions, all for the loss of their unborn child.

After a while, Dr. Lowenstein returned. Lee and Amanda had somewhat regained their composure and the three of them spent some time discussing when and how the transplant would take place. As they were making all the necessary arrangements Amanda was beginning to feel light-headed again and was thankful she was sitting at the time. When they were done they left the office together - the doctor making his way down the corridor, leaving Lee and Amanda to face Joe who, by this time had grown even more frustrated and angry.

"Amanda!" Joe called as he rushed out of the waiting room to meet them. Everyone else followed, fearing another confrontation.

"What was that all about? Is Jamie going to be O.K.?" He could see that she had been crying.

Amanda was shaking and was afraid she would faint again. She tried to stay strong. She opened her mouth to speak, her lower lip trembling, but Lee did not give her a chance. He put his arm around her.

"Not now, Joe," he said as he, holding on to Amanda, pushed past him.

"Just who the hell..." Joe started as he grabbed Lee's arm with a force that caused him to lose his grip on Amanda and she lost her balance, falling against the wall.

In one fluid motion, Lee grabbed Joe by the collar and pinned him against the opposite wall. "I said not now!" He spoke through clenched teeth. He wanted to hit him. God how he wanted to hit him.

"Lee, no! Please!" Amanda cried, tears overflowing again.

Lee loosened his grip, and Joe, still angry and not a bit shaken, shoved him away.

"You want to do this, tough guy?! Come on, let's go!" Joe shouted, shaking his fists at Lee.

Billy stepped in between them and pushed them away from each other just as Amanda was attempting to pull Lee away. Just then, a nurse came up to them and told them that if they didn't settle down she was going to have security throw them out. Billy told her 'that would not be necessary', then led both men into the waiting room, trying to keep them a safe distance a part.

"This is getting way out of hand," Billy looked at Lee. "I think you should leave for a while. This is a family situation and you're getting too involved in something you have no business being involved in."

Lee's heart sank. 'Billy, you have no idea,' he thought.

"Why don't you take your boss's advice," Joe sniped.

"Shut up, Joe!" Amanda came to Lee's rescue.

"Oh, you're defending him against me now? Look, I don't give a damn what he is to you! I don't care if you work with him, or sleep with him, or both! This has nothing to do with him! This has to do with 'our' family... 'our' son! He doesn't belong here! I am Jamie's father!"

"And Lee is Jamie's stepfather!" Her words came out fast and furious.

"Amanda!" Lee couldn't believe she'd just blurted it out. 

"What!" Joe and Dottie said in unison.

"You're married?" A stunned Francine looked from Amanda to Lee.

"Mom?" Philip was dazed.

Billy stared at them, speechless.

"Well, you're just full of surprises, aren't you," Dottie stood glaring at her daughter.

Amanda couldn't believe what just happened. She didn't even think before she spoke. She was so angry with Joe, with everyone, for thinking that Lee had no business there. Not after what they had just been told. Her emotions had a tight hold on her. She was crying and shaking as she stepped closer to her ex-husband.

"You are so crazy with jealousy you don't have sense enough to know when to quit! You couldn't just leave it alone! You want to know what the doctor talked to us about..." she lowered her voice, "...well, I hope you can handle it."

"Amanda, don't." Lee pleaded weakly.

"Not only is Lee Jamie's stepfather," she continued, ignoring Lee. "He is also the father of the baby I'm carrying now. Jamie is going to be O.K." Amanda's voice was growing hoarse from forcing the words passed the lump in her throat. "They found a match...it's me. And the man you've been saying doesn't belong here...has no business here...has just been told that in order for 'your son' to live...'his' baby has to die. I think...that gives him the right...to be here."

Joe moved his mouth, as if to speak, but could not utter a sound. There was nothing he could say. Nothing anybody could say. They all stood in shock, looking from Amanda to Lee. Amanda lost what little control she had left and rushed out, sobbing, leaving Lee in the midst of the stunned stares. It was his turn to try to speak, but he found he couldn't. He could feel his eyes filling with tears. Determined not to let them see his weakened state, he closed his eyes and raised his head toward the ceiling - but that did not stop the escape of the solitary tear that fell. He breathed a sigh, lowered his head, scanned their faces once more, then turned and walked out of the room.

Events happened quickly after that day. Part of Billy wanted to chastise his agents, his friends, for not confiding in him. He had known them both forever, it seemed, and he found it hard to believe they didn't feel they could have told him. In the end, he merely consoled them and gave Lee a leave of absence to be with Amanda. 

Dottie tried to be a good mother, but the anger and pain produced by all the lies and distrust still lingered beneath the surface. She clung to Philip, who had become unusually withdrawn over the past few days. Joe encouraged them both to talk about their feelings, to try to make sense of the whirlwind that struck their lives.

After the pregnancy was terminated, alone in a hospital room, Amanda and Lee held each other and cried. One rushed driver late for work changed their beautiful dreams into painful nightmares. Unknown to them, Dottie had gone home that same day and cried, alone, for the grandchild she would never know.

Amanda was put in the room with Jamie after the transplant, at Lee's request. Several days after the surgery Jamie's body showed no signs of rejection and he was looking and feeling much better. The two of them talked about a lot of things while they recovered together, but her marriage to Lee and the baby were never mentioned.

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
